Leaning on the Liveblogging CrutchApril 23rd, 20087: 15: I’m tuning in a little late to tonight’s game, hoping to avoid viewing even a second of one of the ten shows on SNY featuring local beat reporters screaming at each other. Luckily Crusty Rumblin’s and When Reuters Attacks! aren’t aired until 4 AM. According to Kyle’s thirteen one sentence posts to the right, I’m also tuning in late to the season. No one’s reading this and so I offer no excuse. 7:24: So tonight it’s Johan Santana against the Nationals. The big controversy tonight is that Carlos Delgado was dropped one spot in the lineup from fifth to sixth. The only reason I care is that he’s got a shot at tying the longest streak of at bats ending in fan disappointment and baseless arguments with umpires, and I want him to have as many opportunities as possible. I missed the Mets first at bats, but I can guess: Reyes faked a couple bunts and popped up, Castillo slapped four balls foul before grounding out to first, and Wright, trying to hit a three-run homer with no one on base, flew out to deep nowhere. Now that I’m settled in, Santana gives up a hard groundball base hit to Cristian “DFA” Guzman and nearly a two-run homer to Ryan Zimmerman. He works out of it, but I think it’s going to be one of those nights. 7:26: And we’re treated to an advertisement for one of the aforementioned shout fests. It’s called Loudmouths. Right after Gary Cohen muses that a lingering injury to Beltran’s “underpinnings” might be sapping his power, Carlos laces a double down the right field line. I don’t mind when Beltran goes into one of his funks; his defense is always good enough to justify keeping him in the lineup. Ryan Church grounds out, looking a bit like a taller, more mobile (or just mobile) Karim Garcia. That brings up Delgado’s shiny pate and the infield shift stacking every single player in a line extending out from the hole between second and first — god dammit, right, so you can guess where he grounded that one. At least the run scored. Angel Pagan, returning to earth, grounds out weakly to end the inning. He’s played well during Alou’s inevitable and predicable absence, but there’s no way he’s a long term solution. 7:36: Alastings Milledge, traded for a more mobile Karim Garcia and a defensive catcher — one of baseball’s scarcest resources, to be sure — faces Santana. I’ve read a couple names for Milledge out there, and they’re all terrible: Blastings, ‘Stings, even Blastings Thrilledge. When you have as good as baseball name as Lastings Milledge, you don’t need nicknames. I still think mine is a superior offering. 7:40: Wright didn’t come close to deserving the Gold Glove last year, but he does make a few spectacular plays every now and then. So do most major league caliber defenders. His arm is terrible, not because it’s weak but because nearly every throw tails to the right of the first base bag, pulling Delgado off and forcing Carlos to catch the ball and apply a spinning tag. He usually pulls it off, which is pretty surprising given that his appearance on Dancing with the Stars consisted of him doing a poorly-oiled robot for fifteen minutes. 8:04: Another slow Santana inning, another Cristian Guzman base hit. He gets out of it. Not looking dominant, but I can’t argue with the results. 8:24: 2-1, Nats, on a double by the pitcher Tim Redding. A very legitimate shot, especially considering former Yankees backup catcher Wil Nieves scored from first on the hit. God damn Mets. 8:35: My attention may have waned momentarily, but my eyes are once again glued to the television as the Mets have a rally brewing. Schneider drew a walk, and now, after failing to bunt, so did Santana! Catch the excitement! And Reyes comes through with a force out to short! Santana out at second, Schneider to third, Reyes to first! Discover Queens! Let’s go Mets! What will Castillo do? I’m calling a homer, crushed to deep right. Reyes almost got picked off to end the inning on one of those horrible fake-to-third, throw-to-first moves. That Castillo blast can’t come soon enough. “Here’s the situation with Castillo,” says Cohen, “Gets to 3-1, then takes a strike. It’s almost like he’s looking for the walk.” Castillo swings — a chopper, over the mound, slapped you might say — just slow enough for Schneider to score and Castillo to be safe at first. Wright grounds out mightily on fifteen hops to Guzman. LET’S GO METS! Infield singles and groundouts will give them the pennant. Man, this sure is great baseball to watch. 8:54: A spinning grounder off Church’s bat turns into a single and scores Beltran when Zimmerman hurries to pick it up and throws it away. Church ends up at third. Delgado up, and — yeah, ok, not into the shift, but he has to learn it isn’t a sacrifice fly if it doesn’t leave the infield. Sure, he sacrificed an out and a chance of scoring another run easily, but…eh, I don’t want to finish this. This is one of the least exciting games I’ve seen. 8:57: Another run scores on Pagan’s softly tapped grounder to the right of the mound! 4-2 Mets! I haven’t seen run production this pathetic since Kyle swore he’d jog to get in shape in the summer of 2003 and instead decided to see how many days in a row he could go without moving if he kept a George Foreman grill and a bag of techno-color gummy bears on his night table. 9:01: Of course, another maddening run crosses the plate on a Schneider ground out that bounced off the pitcher and nearly into Guzman’s glove. 5-2 Mets. Naturally, Santana follows that terrible impression of a major league offense with a sharply lined double — his second of the night — into right field. 9:05: While we wait for the pitching change, we’re treated to another commercial for a shitty beer whose label turns blue when it’s cold. That sounds very helpful because I’m always trying to figure out the temperature of the beer I’m holding by looking at it instead of tasting it or continuing to hold it. I must be missing something on this one. Reyes grounds out, and somehow the Nats’ defense doesn’t turn it into a run for the Mets. 10:02: The Mets tack on two more to make it 7-2. The game’s essentially over, barring further catastrophe or an Aaron Heilman or Jorge Sosa appearance; it certainly didn’t do anything to make this game more interesting. 1 Comment »Washed UpApril 5th, 2008With severe thunderstorms sending Chipper Jones’ mistresses scurrying to trailers all across the South, my only glimpse of the Mets tonight was that terrific MLB 2K8 commercial featuring Jose Reyes. You know the one. In the Mets locker room, an old clubhouse attendant diligently polishes a bat, counting the strokes. Reyes walks in and sets down a boombox playing the “Jose, Jose, Jose, Jose” chant. The polisher counts to “86″ (coincidentally, the last year the Mets did not try so god-damned hard to embarrass themselves), then smashes the boombox with the bat. And the punchline? Reyes reacts by braying maniacal laughter for an uncomfortable ten seconds. It sounds like the forced mirth of a man hiding grief after the deaths of every one he has ever known. But hey, at least his car isn’t blazing copper. Seriously, check out this link. Derek Jeter woodenly gestures us through the moribund line of Ford motor vehicles. I especially like how he was instructed to indicate the cars as he talks about them; the Edge gets a strange upper torso nod, while the Explorer and Mustang are judged worthy of a limp, two-handed point. My favorite promos are the Fusion (”Check out the Ford Fusion,” he says in monotone, eyes dead) and Escape (notable only for the freeze frame at the end which catches his fervent wish to do exactly that). More words when the rain lets up and we get more games. No Comments »Probable KazMarch 19th, 2005According to the ever-reliable Ken Rosenthal of Fox Sports, the Mets are close to trading Jason Phillips for Kaz Ishii. Without Rick Peterson’s leaked remarks there’s no telling how long it will take to fix Ishii, but what we do know is that Kaz #2 is open to figuring out how he can cut down on walks, his Achilles heel:
Well, that’s OK. I mean, Ishii doesn’t really have to be “successful” or “able to get batters out” to be a good fifth starter. Ideally what the Mets are looking for is an innings eater, and if nothing else he fits that bill.
Getting…angry… So let’s switch gears. Who needs Jason Phillips when you have a young, durable backstop like future Hall of Famer Mike Piazza behind the plate?
Well, alright, if the Mets are unsure about Piazza’s playing time or performance, at least they already have a capable backup in Ramon Castro.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I hate you, Mets. Comments Off |
WhoopsMay 18th, 2008I’m going to take a page from the book of our glorious Commander In Chief, and conduct what’s known as a preemptive strike. “Fuck you BigK I knew you’d quit updating in May just like you always do! I was too smart to fall for it this time but you’re still a jerk!” Yeah, well, I was busy getting (yet another) new job, and breaking into our old site to get our old posts back. Also, I’m doing a Liveblog of the game tomorrow to make up for my lack of postage. So there. Your move, terrorist. No Comments »Gonna be a day or two, folksMay 3rd, 2008Can’t blog at the moment. I’ve learned 2 things today: #1. You really shouldn’t wash your keyboard in the dishwasher, no matter how much upside-down pizza fell on it. #2. It’s really hard to type with just a mouse and Keyboard Viewer in Vista. This post took me 15 minutes to write. No Comments »What a great week to be a bloggerApril 30th, 2008Especially a baseball blogger who happens to enjoy writing about the sordid, idiotic life of celebrities as well.
But we’ll come back to that. For right now, let’s talk about today’s game. When I sat in front of my computer at 4:05 PM local time, having not yet showered and clad only in a sock and a stray piece of wrapper from a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough, I saw the pitching matchup of Halladay versus Jon Lester, and the first thought in my mind was not “epic pitcher’s duel” But that’s exactly what we got. No Comments » |
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